jueves, julio 31, 2003

Seventeen days

First of all: Oh my god. I haven't gotten email for a whole week. One whole week.

Second, for three whole days, I will be alone in a virtually empty house. Mom, Sister, and Brother have gone to visit my uncle, six hours away.

Tonight I'm going to Community Band, and tomorrow I think I'll go to the marching band sectionals of my alma mater. Heh. It's fun to be able to call that hellhole my alma mater, because that means I don't have to go there anymore.

Anyway, I figure I just need to jump right back into playing, and that tonight and tomorrow will help me to do that. Hell, I might even "help out" at band camp.

(Emily, dear. When you say "fire house," do you mean the "fire station," the building that is a short walk down the hill from my house? 'Cause, you know...you could come visit me. Not that I'm lonely, or anything like that....)

posted at 17:15 ||

miércoles, julio 30, 2003

Woe betide you

Someone shot our kitty. Our poor, (mostly) defenseless, beautiful, long-haired, rust-colored kitty.

And not like a shot from far off, by someone who doesn't like kitties scrounging around their property. No, no. This was a two-person job. Someone captured our kitty, while someone else held a BB gun to our kitty, and shot her point-blank.

So now she has a hole in her chest. This is a grotesque hole. I had a peek, and nearly gagged. First of all, her skin has been blasted away. I could see her bones at the front of her body. Then there's like a sub-dermal layer there, only it's got a green tinge around it, so I fear it's infected. Our kitty may die, and she's not even four months old.

Tomorrow Dad and I are supposed to try to clean and dress the wound. I have no idea how we're going to go about doing that, because even though she's wounded, she still roams around like nothing's happened. We'd probably have to sedate her somehow, because I have a feeling that if we take some peroxide or something else to that wound, she will claw the hell out of us.

Our poor kitty.

posted at 21:13 ||

A Quest of sorts

First, read this.

As I've mentioned before, I've gone on this re-reading splurge that started back sometime in June with Harry Potter and the Lord of the Rings books, of which I've only just finished the second book.

However, before I had got too far into the first one, I read a bit of The Silmarillion. The Silmarillion is a collection of the sordid history of Middle Earth. I barely got past the creation of the earth and the Counting of Time and the First Great War before reading it became too much of a drudgery, but even that much brings a whole new level of clarity to the story.

Now I just have to read the third book. And it's only taken me five years to get this far!

posted at 00:05 ||

martes, julio 29, 2003

So many days

Me and Maw went to the cannery today. We canned gallons and gallons of spaghetti sauce and beef stew. I have a blister on the right side of my index finger from chopping forty carrots with a dull knife that had a sandpaper hilt.

Mom and I made enough spaghetti sauce to last the family until this time next year. Same with the beef stew, only we made a little extra so, "I can pack it with you when you leave and you'll have something to eat," says Mom.

Riiiight. Like I eat that stuff here. Mm-hmm....

But the interesting thing about the cannery is that it's where all the old ladies that Gary Lawson drew live. I swear. Making cabbage rolls and everything.

And now I am tired, because today was the third time this summer I was up before seven o'clock. Ta ta.

posted at 16:13 ||

lunes, julio 28, 2003

Sweet Release

I went to Has-Beens tonight, and it was just what I needed. I feel like Gandalf, fallen for a time and then brought back, greater than before. Only, forget the whole greater than before part.

But I did manage to play the entire time. Which is good.

For a time there, I felt like Charlie from Flowers for Algernon, slowly falling from this peak of greatness. But I have a feeling I'll scale that mountain again.

I'm trying to get back into playing, because I've been worried that I'll get to Richmond and go to find a band, and be laughed out of rehearsals, or worse: pitied. Now I'm comfortable that I'll be all right when I get there.

(Eighteen days.)

posted at 22:13 ||

Nineteen days.

Weekend highlights:


  • Going commando in public for the very first time. Not quite as liberating as I had expected.
  • Saw the Pirate movie. Was quite good. Not oscar-worthy or anything, but still quite fun.
  • Margaret Cho. Oh. My god.
  • Finishing the Fellowship of the Ring. I swear there should be a program to build people up to literature from childhood, so they don't go reading books they won't understand until much later.
  • I hate the world.
  • (Not really.)

posted at 00:28 ||

viernes, julio 25, 2003

It's official


  • No longer can anyone in my house say, "put the toilet seat back down." Instead, one would have to say, "put the toilet seat back on." Because they are both broken off the rest of the toilet. No shit. Hahahahahahah.
  • Um...right.
  • Also, I'll have to clean out my desk again, sometime soon. For like the second time in a week. And it ain't gonna happen for a while, I'll tell you. God damn is there a lot to do before moving out.
  • Oh yeah. Twenty-three days.
  • Also also, we went and got movies last night, and I somehow picked out two World War II movies, the first being The Pianist, the second being Jakob the Liar. We watched The Pianist first, which is a marvellously excellent movie, then the parents went to bed, and I tried to watch Jakob the Liar, but just couldn't. There should be a legal limit as to how many World War II movies set in the same time period, in the same country (in the same city?) that one can watch. Or at least a disclaimer.
  • So I watched Billy Elliot instead. I broke down, I know. But I can't help it.
  • The last few times I've been to the gym, the scale has been telling me that my weight is shooting back up to near 200. Yesterday I was at 194. To contrast, two weeks prior I was at 189. Oh the agony!
  • So I ran on the track afterward, and haven't eaten anything but a bowl of spaghetti since. Curse the pasta, for it will be my downfall.

posted at 11:51 ||

miércoles, julio 23, 2003

An update, at least


  • First off, twenty-four days.
  • As soon as I've finished here, and perhaps gone to the library, I am going to practice. I don't care if I sound bad, and if everyone who hears me thinks I sound bad, but I am going to practice, god dammit. Glad to have cleared that up.
  • I'm actually not supposed to be on the internet right now. Shhh....
  • I'm getting back to the gym regularly. I'm glad. Exercise good!
  • I was at work the other night, and the Assistant Manager Lady asked me if I'd ever considered being an Owner/Operator. I asked her why she was asking, and she mentioned something about noticing some of my "leadership techniques," which makes me think that they're considering me for management there. I was sorely tempted to say, "You know I'm leaving in a month, right?" Nonetheless, it's a good sign. Maybe....
  • I desperately need to shit right now, so I'll leave you.

posted at 13:54 ||

sábado, julio 19, 2003

28 days

No, not the zombie movie.

But speaking of movies!

I saw some great movies last night. It was weird, though, because both movies had exactly different messages. It was like Yin and Yang.

...or something.

But anyway, the first movie was Gangs of New York, which, despite Leonardo DiCaprio's being casted at all, much less as the leading man, was quite good. Leave it to Scorsese to make a three-hour film about all this trepidation and suffering, only to end it by essentially saying, "Nothing matters, because time will cover it all," and enhancing the message by shots of the various stages of progression of the city shot over the cemetary where everyone was buried. Quite good, indeed.

Then there's K-PAX. K-PAX has my very favorite actor in it, Kevin Spacey, who is quite good in this movie as well as others, and also had a tolerable performance by Jeff Bridges. The message in K-PAX was, "Make everything you do count."

So, "Nothing matters" versus "Everything matters." Pessimism versus Optimism. Yin versus Yang.

Then, of course, we rented Dick, so it could tell us to forget everything else.

posted at 12:05 ||

jueves, julio 17, 2003

30

I don't know what I ate, but it has fucked up my bowels.

Anyway, tomorrow I have to get up early, disassemble the entertainment center in our room, move out the washer and dryer in the laundry room, move in the new washer and dryer, and reassemble the entertainment center.

Can't wait!

posted at 22:36 ||

miércoles, julio 16, 2003

31 days

So yesterday I spent WAY TOO MUCH FUCKING MONEY. See for yourself:


  • Five huge binders: $6 ea.
  • 50 blank CDs: $20
  • 25' network cord: $20
  • 6' network cord: fuck, let's say $10
  • USB cord: $20
  • pens: $5
  • pencils: $3
  • laundromat: $15

Hi, my name's Cole, and I have a spending problem. [Group: HI COLE!]

I'm just ever so glad that tomorrow is pay day.

Also, I don't know what I'm going to do with my new laundromat, especially since it only costed $15.

Also also, the box the network cords came in totally says "Male/Male".

posted at 15:12 ||

martes, julio 15, 2003

So, make that 32 days.

So a gross miscalculation on my part leads to...well, not disappointment. More like relief.

Today, still thinking I had less than a calendar month, I went on a big desk-cleaning spree. Only it didn't start out as a desk-cleaning spree; it started out as a searching-for-the-little-radio-to-take-to-work-so-we'd-have-something-to-listen-to-besides-our-own-voices-please-GOD spree. Then it morphed into a cleaning-out-my-backpack spree. Then it turned in to some sort of nostalgic thing. Then a get-my-chemistry-and-calculus-notebooks-together-because-I'm-not-losing-a-year's-worth-of-notes thing. Then the desk-cleaning thing.

So that marked off about two of the things on my huge To Do list that I've made for myself to prepare for moving out. Tomorrow I've got an orthodontist appointment and I'm going to buy a bunch of stuff, so that's a couple more check marks. And I'm going to make a trip to the laundromat as our washer and dryer are both fucked up: the washer just doesn't work, and the dryer can't dry four pieces of clothing on high for ninety minutes.

I'm just ever so happy that I don't have to work tomorrow. Not at all. Halle-fucking-lieuja.

posted at 01:45 ||

lunes, julio 14, 2003

Yes, I do sleep

So I have like, twenty-seven days until I move out. Twenty. Seven.

Oh my god I totally need to start getting things ready, like now. Things like throw away all those empty CD cases and figure out which books I want to take with me and er...pack all my clothes (my uncle actually bought us some of those bags that you put clothes and stuff in and then suck all the air out with a vacuum cleaner. Nifty.) and go buy the network cable and some blank CDs and wash my new sheets and about four hundred other things.

Gah!

posted at 10:51 ||

Totally just fucking around

Okay, I've fixed the archives link, and I've decided that I can fork over five dollars a month to have my very own domain, but Blogger won't let me get around to ordering my BlogSpot Plus thingy. Yeah. So I have no idea when that will come about.

Also, my gas really stinks. I mean, really.

posted at 02:06 ||

Yeah, he's talking about his non-theism again


I'm still amazed at how people can talk at length about fuck buddies and feeling slutty for bringing home lots of different guys for a while, then going without sex for four whole months, then when a vibrator is suggested, discuss at length about how "the real thing" is vastly superior to a vibrator, even though the vibrator vibrates, yet bitch at me for saying, "I tried my goddamndest."

In other news, I went to work about twelve hours ago, and only just got off about one hour ago. And tomorrow night I'm closing again.

Also, to whoever keeps running those Hardee's commercials: I think the Thickburgers have been aptly introduced, what with running those goddamn (oops, there it is again, silly me) commercials for a month now. Come up with something new, and possibly less irritating (but I'll settle for just new, please GOD). Whores.

posted at 01:39 ||

domingo, julio 13, 2003

It's me again


Yeah, you remember that post I wrote that said something about my being up twelve hours later? The one I wrote TWELVE HOURS AGO?

Yeah.

And we're not even going to pretend that I don't have to be back to work in LESS THAN TWELVE HOURS. Oh no.

posted at 01:50 ||

sábado, julio 12, 2003

Oh sweet, um...endorphins


I feel like I've had the shit beat out of me, and it feels great.

It's too bad that I'll still be awake twelve hours from now.

posted at 13:56 ||

Also


I've figured out why fast food is so bad for people. No, really.

It's not because fast food has so much more fat than other foods, because most home-cooked meals Are even more fattening. Think meat loaf, casseroles, lasagna, fondue, burgers (yes, even George Foreman burgers), chicken, pot roast, spaghetti, whatever.

The difference between home-cooked meals and fast food is that home-cooked meals are cooked with love, and fast food is cooked with hate.

It's true. You come by my place of work say, two minutes before closing, and we will hate you, we will hate the food you ordered, we will hate the food we are cooking for you, we will hate the drinks we are making for you, and we especially will hate you if you if we have to cook fries for you, because the chance is that the fries in the bin are older than five minutes, thus unservable, and we have to wait a whole two and a half minutes to cook you some fresh ones, which really isn't that long to wait, but just goes to illustrate how much we want to get the fuck out of there.

So my conclusion is thusly: if food cooked with love is supposed to be good for you, then food cooked with hate is equally as bad for you. And with however many millions of people who eat out every fucking meal, every fucking day, it's no wonder there are so many fat fucks in America.

posted at 00:38 ||

Let's talk about poop


Because I don't talk about it enough here.

(Also, I totally had this mostly typed out, then decided I wanted to change the font, and it fucking went somewhere irretrievable. Motherfuckers)

So I took a shit today, which shouldn't surprise anyone, because I'm so full of it anyway. But it's not the action of taking a shit that I'm interested in. No, no...it's the shit itself I'm concerned with, because in it, was a...floater.

A floater.

A GODDAMN FLOATER.

For those of you that don't know what a floater is, you're retarded. But I'll explain anyway, because the humor in this post is kind of hinging on my working knowledge of density and things like that.

It bears repeating that this turd floated. For you people who didn't pay attention in Chemistry, that means that there was enough fat in the turd to make the density of the whole turd less than one gram per cubic centimeter.

That means that sometime last night, my body said, "Okay, that's enough. I can't take any more fat."

Where did all this fat come from? you ask. Well, it came from work. I work at a fast food joint that shall remain nameless, because I seem to bad-mouth it quite a bit (I wonder why?) and the last thing I want is to pull a Dooce and get fired because someone I work with found it.

Right.

So I eat a lot at work, but I've taken to not eating the entire day before going to work because I know there's no way in hell I'll be able to just eat on my break (only today we have toaster pastries. Fucking toaster pastries! *drools*) so I gorge myself, satisfied with knowing that I've offset my food intake by doing this, and maybe I might lose a little weight, too, because this is a slight modification of the Atkins diet.

Again, right.

But last night, I ate a hot dog. Well, half a hot dog, because halfway through it, I found that it had mayonnaise on it. Mayonnaise. Upon discovering this, I immediately threw it away, and washed my mouth out. I still shudder about that.

But I've concluded that the mayonnaise, toting all the fat it could muster, wound its way through my body, trying to gain a foothold, and that the floater was the result of my body being unaccustomed to the mayonnaise, succintly forcing it all off on that one poor, unsuspecting, defenseless turd.

I hope that the turd a few minutes ago (actually it's been an hour. I can't believe I've spent an hour writing about a turd) was a fluke. Any more of them, though, and you can bet I'll be on that fucking track faster than you can say "defecation".

posted at 00:12 ||

viernes, julio 11, 2003

Um...right


Take a gander at this.

If Stonehenge is a vagina, what does that make the Washington Monument?

posted at 11:09 ||

jueves, julio 10, 2003

So Many Things



  • Firstly, The Kate, who rivals Sarah B. in being the funniest girl alive. I found her today and could not stop laughing.
  • Secondly, the Andrew debacle. It starts here, continues to here, and is currently here. I'm not gong to say much else about it, because it pretty much speaks for itself.
  • Thirdly, I've finally worked out how I want the links to work up there, only I have no way of implementing it with BlogSpot hosting. I may want to look into upgrading my Blogger account, or possibly even buying my own domain? Of course, I will be very poor in the very near future, so paying a bill like that every month would be something to consider.
  • I heart Harry Potter. The books, not the character, though my favorite character would have to be Ginny Weasley. I bought and then I read the book in about thirty hours, which would have been almost exactly twenty-four hours if I hadn't of (have?) had to go to work. Enough of this.
  • Okay. I've noticed that around this time every year I start to lose it. Last year there was the end of Governor's School and the float and the Baty family reunion in Indiana and Mom and Dad's anniversary and Laura's birthday and whatever. And this year it's happening again, though for no good reason. So I've decided to start the tradition of Mid-Year Resolutions. Mine are as follows: 1) Get. In. Shape. I haven't been to the gym in nearly a week, and it's taking its toll. I need to start running again, too. The last time I ran I got under seven minuts for a mile and wasn't that winded, so I don't think I'll have too much trouble. I vant to be dead sexy ven I get to college in ze fall. 2) Practice. For the love of god, practice. Now that I've decided that I want to keep on with it, I need to do just that. I'm going to try to make it to the groups I used to belong to when I can and beg for their forgiveness. I'll bring money if I have to. 3) Limit myself to an hour on the internet per day. Really, I should be doing something else. I spent ninety minutes just farting around today. Too much time, really. That's it, so far.
  • And I'm pretty disappointed with my parents for wussing out in July with the whole non-air-conditioned home thing. I seriously need to get accustomed to hot weather without air conditioning because I won't have any when I get to college this fall. Blah.
  • Um, yeah. I went on a date on Tuesday. A date that pretty much ended at ten o'clock. At night. But with the promise of getting together at her dad's house because he has a pool and everything. But then we didn't share a day off this weekend. But then she called in for tomorrow, which is my day off. But when she called in, I didn't know it was her, so volunteered myself to cover her shift, but then found out that it was she who'd called in, so called her when I got off this evening because I thought that she was trying to get together tomorrow. But when I hung up with her, I had the distinct impression that I was being lied to. So I'm just going to work tomorrow. So there.
  • Work itself is so fucking aggravating! If it's not the idiot customers who are always right, it's the idiot people you have to work with, whose voice grates on your nerves over the PA, who try and steal your station then get all chuffy when you hold your ground, who are always bumping into you, who is the only person up there when a car pulls up, yet doesn't manage to make the one item order, or even think about it.... There. That feels better.


Okay, I'm done.

posted at 23:56 ||

miércoles, julio 09, 2003

Oh sweet jesus...


Firstly, this.

Secondly, this.

And I know I'm probably the last person to find out about this, but give me a break: I live in the asshole of the universe. Everything I get has been chewed up and digested already.

Well, mostly digested.

posted at 23:30 ||

domingo, julio 06, 2003

Thoughts on television #1


If you ask me, Billy Mays is just a little too excited about Oxi-Clean.

And people, they're not going to kill off Anthony Michael hall in the season premiere.

posted at 20:58 ||

sábado, julio 05, 2003

It's been a while, so I thought I'd treat y'all to one of thses:


1. What do you think about flag burning? This is where I show my liberal side and say that i don't mind it. personally, i'd never do it, but i have to say that the flag just doesn't mean as much to me as it does to someone whom flag burning would bother immensely
2. Is it ok to cuss? what the fuck kind of question is that, motherfucker?!
3. What's your favorite candy? snickers! no wait - smarties! no - skittles! no - starburst! ah, fuck it.
4. Do you keep up on current events? i used to listen to npr a lot, but now that i don't drive as much to everywhere, i've quit. plus, when i'm in the car, i don't really have control of the radio anyway, so no. newspapers are shams, and i don't trust the tv or the internet.
5. Do you get enough vacation? what the fuck is a vacation?
6. What is most important to you? my continued survival.
7. Do you collect anything? pennies. and porn. er....
8. Is there too much media violence? all i have to say is this: watch the movie bowling for columbine
9. Is it right to spank a kid? yes, but there are limits to everything.
10. Should Elian have stayed (the Cuban kid)? here i'm going to take the typical redneck point of view and say, "if it didn't have anything to do with me, i don't see why the fuck I could care"
11. What do you think about plastic surgery? i have mixed emotions. i'm all for improving your appearance, but plastic surgery should only be a last resort, and even then not over the top.
12. What's your favorite car? the Hy-wire
13. What do you think is the biggest issue that teens have to face? did mrs. jennings have a hand in this one?
14. Boy Bands - have a comment? hey, whatever fills your tub
15. Planning to go anywhere for Spring Break? er, what's spring break?
16. What do you plan to do on Spring Break? see above
17. If someone handed you 500 bucks what would you do with it? oh my god. i have no idea.
18. Do you have a credit card? no. and i don't ever plan on getting one.
19. Should teens be able to have credit cards? no. absolutely not. unless, of course, they are independently wealthy; then it's okay.
20. How many E-mail accounts do you have? countless many. how many do i still check? three.
21. Who do you live with? my family, but that soon will change. and it's so totally supposed to be "with whom do you live?"
22. Creation of Evolution? i would say evolution.
23. Can you name the leader of Cuba? Fidel Castro. who, by the way, has outlived every american president since the 1960s
24. What are you doing after graduation? um...going out and getting so fucked up that when i wake up i have no clue where i am or how to get out. wait, no...going home and eating ice cream with my family....what a geek.
25. How many colleges did you apply to? two. and was accepted to both.
26. What's your favorite hard candy? those little blue 'cool ice" things that brach's puts out.
27. After high school, where will you live? well, directly after high school, i'll live at home, then i'll live in richmond at college in august.
28. How do you feel about the police releasing the videotape from Columbine? I was a bit shocked to see it in bowling for columbine, but i feel that it's necessary to know the truth, even if it's about something truly horrible like that.
29. What's your favorite accessory? oh my god, anything that has to do with time. time earrings, time nose rings, time toe rings, whatever.
30. Which body part would you really pierce? um...my ear?
31. Which celebrity has style in your opinion? jude law. no...orlando bloom.
32. Gonna work this summer? no, of course not. dumbass.
33. Ever had your heart broken? not to my recollection
34. Ever been to a live concert? yes. several.
35. Did you keep your New Year's Resolution? no, and i should probably stop making them, because i just keep setting myself up for disappointment year after year....
36. Is your best friend the same or opposite gender of you? opposite
37. Do you have any feelings on abortion? yes
38. How do you feel about the Napster issue? i don't think that it's fair to pitch a fit about giving away for free a track that costs less to put on a cd than a penny, then selling the cd at 300% profit. bastards.
39. What would be your dream vacation? right now i could stand to go to a beach....hawaii, mmmm....
40. Your feelings on the show "Survivor"? i have never watched it. nor will i ever.
41. Have you ever had a summer fling? alas, no...mock the poor virgin.
42. Do you pay attention to the Stock Market? fuck no.
43. Thirsty? What's your favorite drink? water is always a winner.
44. Have you moved during Middle or High School? yes.
45. What makes you like a commercial the most? ......?
46. What do you typically eat for breakfast? nothing. or toaster pastries. or corn flakes. mmmm....
47. How involved were you in buying the computer your using right now? i paid for the whole of it. oh sweet technology *drools*
48. How many computers are in your house? er...three? four counting the one outside that hasn't been used since 1998
49. Where's the computer at in your house? my desk, nathaniel's desk, the upstairs desk, and out in the shed.
50. Do you read self-help books (Chicken Soup, etc.)? no because i end up more depressed...but occasionaly i like to be depressed. paradoxical, isn't it?
51. Do you think teens should be restricted from buying certain things? i know people who are fifteen who are more responsible than people who are fifty, much less twenty one. i say, if they're old enough to ask about it, they're old enough to buy it.
52. If you have a car, who makes it? whomever makes it would have to have mastered the same technology as the Hy-wire mentioned above, so right now it's GM.
53. Do you use Instant Messaging more then the phone? yes.
54. You're on a first date...and they're going a lil too fast for you, what do you do? i move a "lil" bit faster.
55. You're going to a Halloween party, what kind of costume are you in? Casey the Dog, if you follow me.
56. Who would you have voted for in the Presidental Election? if only McCain hadn't of chickened out. damn cancer.
57. What do you think about amusement parks? yes yes, and yes.
58. Do you like roller coasters? yes. yes yes.
59. If you saw The Grinch, what did you think? strange, but okay.
60. Do you play video games? occasionally. don't like shoot-em-up games, but tend toward the adventure/reality types.
61. Have you ever beat a game? yes. always the first in the house to beat the adventure games. never have beaten a shoot-em-up game, though.
62. What usually keeps you up later then you should be? The internet, or as was this week's case, Harry Potter, though i really didn't feel like i'd lost any sleep over that one..
63. Do you enjoy cooking? um, no. not unless it's ramen noodles.
64. Do you pay attention to how healthy you eat? yes. do i do anything about it? no.
65. Will you be going to Prom this year? my guess is no.
66. What was your favorite movie from this year? all the movies this year have sucked so far. my favorite movie of all time is Billy Elliot, which I highly recommend.
67. What couldn't you live without? oxygen.
68. How long do you talk on the phone each day? none to very little.
69. Why do people still freak out when they hear or see the number 69? because when turned sideways, 69 is the sign for cancer the crab, and when people hear cancer, they think of sickness and death. or it could be the whole sex thing, who knows.
70. What kind of grades do you get? wonderful grades, but with seventeen credits this semester, that could change.
71. Should the legal age of drinking be changed to 18? why not forget about a legal drinking age altogether?
72. Have Aliens visited Earth? most definitely.
73. Do you smoke? not often.
74. What is school like for you? tedium, through and through.

posted at 01:38 ||

martes, julio 01, 2003

On Harry Potter


This is exactly how I feel about Harry Potter right now. I must read that book!

posted at 22:51 ||

Oh My God


It's July. How the fuck did that happen?

posted at 15:02 ||

An Evening in Technicolor



  • Best quote: “I could really go for some hard-core anal fisting” – my brother, in the “special interest” movie section at FYE.
  • Charlie’s Angels: Good action, nice asses, bad plot. Oh yeah, and my group of friends totally made up the “Helen Zass” thing.
  • Rocky Balboa, a pig, a monkey, and a parrot all walk into a bar…
  • I’ve discovered that for me to walk into a mall and not spend at least thirty dollars is impossible. Must stay away from malls in Richmond.
  • As bad as it was, Charlie’s Angels still makes me wish I could go to prison so I can have a hard body like that Seamus guy.
  • If you’re ever at Applebee’s, I highly recommend the “dessert puddle.”
  • I’m on my way to Prepsville: I’ve officially bought my first items of American Eagle clothing. They are both shirts, and neither is a white t-shirt, which is an improvement; but still, two versus seventy-five is not good. Must shop more.
  • Poor Drew Barrymore, having to make out with Willard, whose character’s sole purpose in the movie was to make out with Drew Barrymore, just so she wouldn’t feel lonely. I feel ya, girl.
  • As funny as his quote was, I really shouldn’t have taken my brother out on this one. He did not shut up the entire fucking time. The only connection (or connexion, as Mr. Tolkein writes it) he has with any of my friends is through me. And I can’t just say no to him because he’ll get mad, and trust me, a two hundred fifty pound beast on a rampage is no fun for anyone; also, I kind of feel like I owe him, as I’ll be gone after this summer. But honestly, I never ask to tag along on any of his excursions.

posted at 12:01 ||

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