lunes, febrero 24, 2003

Ahem


Allow me to direct your attention here.

Now scroll down to where the trumpets are listed. Guess who the first one is.

Go on, guess.

Tom?, you ask.

No. Guess again.

Give up? Okay, I'll tell you.

It's me!

Okay, so I went to the All-Virginia tryouts on Saturday.
But it's Monday. Why the delay? Well, I knew on Saturday, but I had a plan for some big grandiose thing on everybody's favorite weblog. How am I doing?
Pretty crappy, actually. Hey, you're imaginary! You're not supposed to insult me.
Sorry. So how'd it go? I can see you're just itching to tell me more. You're very perceptive.
Thank you. Speak. Okay. So I got there on Saturday--well, actually Friday evening. We went to the hotel and then to eat and blah blah blah. So it all actually happened on Saturday. So, like, at eight in the morning we're there at JMU, and we're in the ballroom where we're supposed to register, and it is packed. Like, to the point of you can't scratch your head without elbowing someone in the eye.
That crowded, huh?. Yeah.... So anyway, I register and get #28 and head on over to the audition room which is in the music building. This building is the strangest building I've ever been in.
How so? Like, was it purple and gold*? Ha. Funny. But no. It was like, avant-guarde.
Meaning? Okay, so you know how there's abstract art? Like, a bunch of lines and spots and elepant shit that's just splattered all over the canvas?
...Yes? Well, this is, like, abstract architecture.
No kidding? With upside-down staircases and doors that lead to nowhere? Okay, maybe not that abstract. But it is a hard building to get around in. Like, for us to get to the audition rooms, we had to go out of the warm-up room, down a hall, up some stairs, across this archway thingy, and then make a left and there they are.
Doesn't sound that hard to find. Oh, but it is. But that's not the point.
Right. Right. So...where was I?
Auditions. Right. So, I'm in the warm-up room--
But... What?
Nothing... What?
Nothing. ....Okay. So I'm in the warm-up room, and there's already like, thirty people in there and they've all got their horns (horns and trumpets, you know), and are all just going wild. This goes on for about a half hour, until the runner, Katie, comes in and introduces herself and tells us it'll be about another half hour before the auditions even start and not to wear our lips out. Until she said this, I was just sitting there reading my government book--
How studious. Naturally. So I'm reading and she comes in and says all that, yada yada. So naturally, after she's done talking, they start right back up again. So I finish reading in my government book, and start reading some in Crime and Punishment, and get through a chapter. Then Kaite comes back and calls for the first five trumpets. Then my stomach gives a big leap.
How big? Big. Actually, it wasn't so much a leap as it was a wave of anxiety. And then I couldn't concentrate enough to read. So I got my horn out and started to warm up. Turned a few heads, might I add.
That so. Mm-hmm. So I do all my scales and put my horn up for a while, because I decided I was going to get some water. This was an adventure.
Oh? Like the Neverending Story. Not quite. But close. I went downstairs to get some water, and the bottles cost $1.10. So I put a dollar and a quarter in, and pushed the button. Nothing. The thing said I had to have exact change. So I pushed the return change button, and it was like I had won the jackpot on one of those goddamn slot machines.
Really? But there's only, like five quarters in $1.25. Yeah. There's also ten dimes and a quarter.
No! Yes. Ten dimes and one quarter.
Listen, this is getting kind of boring. Really?
Yeah. Like, I'm thinking, 'my god, when's this gonna end?' ...Okay. So, long story short, my audition went really well, and I was excited the rest of the afternoon, and really giddy from about an hour until they posted the results until about an hour and a half afterward.
So you got first? No, stupid. Did you even look at that page I told you to?
No. Oh. Well, I got ranked third and I opted for band, so I got first chair in the symphonic band.
Symphonic band? Jesus! Get with the times.
Pardon my ignorance, I am not as endowed with knowledge in the proceedings of band events as you. Of course. Allow me to enlighten you. There are three groups you can be placed in: the orchestra, the symphonic band, and the concert band. Now, you might think the orchestra is the top group, but really it and the symphonic band are equally top heavy.
"Top heavy." Clever. Isn't it, though.
Terribly. So anyway, they take so many in each group, like ten in each band and a few in the orchestra. This year they took four trumpets, though, which is a lot in comparison to the past years.
Is it? How many do they usually take? Usually two. Two is standard. Three is pretty big. Four is monstrous.
Monstrous? Monstrous.
Monstrous. So, the two guys who beat me opted for orchestra, and I opted for band, and the foruth-ranked girl opted for orchestra, and so did the seventh-ranked person. So I'm sitting first chair in the symphonic band, which is the top band.
I see. Good job, eh? Fuck yeah!
Well, it's getting pretty late... Yeah. Later.
Later.

*JMU's colors are purple and gold. Not really that funny, hence the sarcasm.

posted at 23:12 ||

domingo, febrero 23, 2003

God Help Me, I'm Going To Promote


Okay, a week from today at 3:00 PM is the Kingsport Youth Symphony Orchestra's spring concert. We're doing it a lot earlier than last year, but that doesn't mean it's not gonna be good. Because it is. Gonna be good.

Right.

And not only is the Youth Symphony performing, but the Highlands Youth Choir is performing with us as well. So if you're not big on orchestra music, then at least come to see the choir, 'cause they're excellent.

And along with the orchestra and the choir are going to be a couple of solosits, namely my excellent flautist friend Alexis, and a young violinist who's going to be playing a...I want to say Handel concierto. Well, the last movement, but still, pretty good for a young'un. Seriously, he's only like, twelve.

This is a big concert for us because it's the first concert by KYSO that is long enough to need an intermission. Ever. So you know there's going to be no lack of...stuff to hear.

So come.

It's free.

posted at 17:29 ||

jueves, febrero 20, 2003

Time Warp


Okay, so remember back in the late 60s and the early 70s when the punk scene first went major, and you'd see them all around with their spiked pink and purple hair and their safety pins and what not?

That's alright, neither do I.

But I do know that the punk scene started around then. And it wasn't just about wearing pink and purple spiked hair and safety pins and playing really loud music. It was about pissing off the establishment, pissing off the people who say that you should look a certain way and that you shouldn't say "bad words."

The true punks lasted all of about ten years, then there came the poser punks, and then the sell-outs, etcetera.

My point for writing this, though, is to tell the world that THE PUNK SCENE IS JUST NOW HITTING SOUTHWEST VIRGINIA. True punk, too. With the mohawks and the strange clothes and all that. And they don't really do anything out of the ordinary other than dress a bit off (but what constitutes "off" anyway, right?).

On Tuesday, one of these punks was dealt several blows. He did nothing in the way of defense, just took them. Smart move, I thought, because he wouldn't get in trouble for fighting, like the other guy who got three days detention. If this were any other guy, though, the principal or whomever he had to talk to would have just dismissed him. However, this guy got bitched at for no good reason. I think it's just because of how he looks....

So now, the whole punk scene is going to make it's rounds here, and then in another twenty years, it'll make a comeback.

Talk about a time warp.

posted at 22:56 ||

domingo, febrero 16, 2003

To SMANTHA


I saw you on my way to Kingsport this afternoon. I saw you turning around in one of those bends in the road with more gravel in the shoulder than the other side. I saw you in your bright red Volkswagen whatever-it-was. I saw your obnoxious vanity plate in the mirror.

I saw how you hit yo may-unn in my mirror. Hard.

And I just loved it when you were tailgating me. As if it wasn't enough that we were going twenty miles over the posted speed limit already! No, you needed to get somewhere, and fast. It just made me feel so special, because you could obviously see that the guy beside me in the non-passing lane wasn't letting me pass him, and you decided to draw attention to your cute little self by getting right up on my ass.

You're lucky I didn't just downshift to slow down so my brake lights wouldn't come on and then you'd end up hitting me and we'd have to stop and call the police and exchange insurance information and then you'd be even later to whatever it is you were in such a hurry to get to.

You fucking bitch.

posted at 16:55 ||

sábado, febrero 15, 2003

In the Past Three Days I've...



  • taken half a chemistry test.
  • laughed my ass off to see my dad standing on the side of the road with a sign that read "WOO! GO GATE CITY BIG BLUE ALL-DISTRICT BAND!" as our bus pulled out of the school.
  • received two valentines.
  • given none.
  • ridden on a bus for about seven hours total.
  • slept in a hotel room.
  • eaten a lot of not so good food.
  • felt good because I realized that I'm a pretty damn good sight-reader.
  • used three different cell phones.
  • wanted to kill someone with my bare hands.
  • wanted to kill many people with my bare hands because All-District was cancelled while we were there.
  • been told I was someone's role model.
  • been shocked at being told I was someone's role model.
  • been fully enlightened as to the workings of a woman's menstrual cycle.
  • fully enlightened someone as to the workings of the phallus.
  • eaten a chili-burger and frenchie fries on a full stomach.
  • kicked myself because the fucking event was cancelled and I had to give up one of my days at work.
  • slept for fourteen hours.

posted at 12:49 ||

martes, febrero 11, 2003

So...


I have no idea to write about. I've got this idea I came up with this afternoon while I was waiting in the car for dad at the gym involving the storage facility across the street from the gym and cell phones and about how they'll eventually fuck up the universe because you've got so many parts of the world being sent around to other parts...kinda crazy.

I've got an idea to write about how Pat Robertson uses the 700 Club to program people how to think. For instance, I was watching and the other night and from what I gathered, a news story is presented like the one about Bush's appointee to one of the federal courts and about how the Democrats are against this guy's appointment. Then the "anchor" deflected to Pat who said that the Democrats are making a big mistake by opposing this guy's appointment because he's Latino, making a point to mention how Latinos have passed blacks as the largest minority. Not because he won't answer any questions about how he stands on hot issues or what his policy is. Pat has programmed millions of conservatives to present Democrats as racist for opposing this guy. Just you watch: this will be a major issue soon.

Or I could write a political diatribe about how I feel about all this bullshit in Iraq. Or about how Ja Rule and Jay-Z are definitely not part of Black History.

I just have one thing I have to say, just because I'm proud that I thought of it. It came to me when I was going to work:

"And he stepped out and saw the unshaven face of the mountain."

Figure that one out.

posted at 23:14 ||

jueves, febrero 06, 2003

Good News



  • I got into VCU. I think I'm going to go there.
  • District has been rescheduled to Thursday and Friday next week. Yay!
  • No school tomorrow except for my one english class tomorrow at 8:30.

posted at 19:52 ||

miércoles, febrero 05, 2003

Hurtful


So I've officially been censored. I had a comment on tequila mockingbird on her post about the State of the Union address. And then I got a response to my comment from someone who chose to hide behind a name like "A Non E-Mouse" who said something like, "Just because you don't agree with the person means you can't stand them. I'm sure at his next public appearance you can find a grassy knoll if you look hard enough."

Naturally, I defended myself, but my response didn't have quite the effect I was going for. I was arguing pretty much a point of semantics, about how A Non E-Mouse kinda halfway quoted me, and I kind of pointed that out, but left out a letter on accident (because it was written in the haste of passion, of course) and said that I was just expressing my political opinion and have no intention of killing anyone, and the invitation at the top of the comments box invited me to tell her what I "really think," and ended up calling the person a chicken-shit.... Anyway, my comment was deleted.

So, the author, whose name I don't know, please forgive me for doing something like that on your site, but you did invite me, and A Non E-Mouse was asking for it.

posted at 22:17 ||

lunes, febrero 03, 2003

Spooky


Tonight, when I was gonig to Has-Been's, some lights on utility poles went out. About three of them did, and only when I stopped.

Can this possibly be coincidence? It did it when I was stopped at a stoplight, then again when I got to the parking lot at the Renaissance Center, and then again at the intersection before I get to my house.

And I swear, once I left the parking lot at the Renaissance Center, the one there turned back on.

What is up with that?

posted at 22:42 ||

sábado, febrero 01, 2003

RW/RRC


Watching the Real World/Road Rules Challenge, Johnny Moseley, the host, shows the prize for a particular game, which happens to be a T-Mobile Companion, or something.

That's not the point.

The point is, he says, "With this, you can take T-Mobile photos...[long pause, because he's a moron], send e-mail, and text messages..blah blah blah", and I'm thinking, What, Johnny? Not T-Mobile e-mails and T-Mobile text messages?.

Fuckin' moron.

posted at 23:41 ||

A Cruel Joke


So this month has not been a good month for band events. January is supposed to be the equivalent of football season for the band people, you know? If you play it right, you can go to an honors band every weekend in January. Well, almost.

There isn't anything on the first weekend because it's after new year's and everything, but from then on, every weekend.

Except for the next weekend.

Okay, and not the next weekend (starting this year, stupid ETSU), but the weekend after next.

However, three out of five weekends in January are busy. This weekend, it was supposed to be All-District (more on that later). The weekend before that, Jr. All-District was cancelled, which I wouldn't have gone to unless I was a freshman or younger, but it sucks for them. The weekend before that it was supposed to be VT Honors Band, which we haven't gone to before (an omen?), and if we hadn't gone to that because ETSU Honors Band, at which I could have been performing tonight, hadn't been scheduled on the wrong weekend...anyway, what I'm getting at with this particular strain of thought is I could have gone to JMU's Brass Bash.

I sense I need to do some explaining.

Okay, last year the head of the music department at ETSU was fired because he was taking a class instead of conducting a group, and got in deep shit and was fired. So he moved to Texas and got a job at a very large high school, which is probably the equivalent of his former job. So they brought in this new woman, and she wasn't properly informed about how most of the people that come to the honors band ETSU has every year come from Virginia, and how they have their district band at the end of January and how the good players won't forgoe their district festival because they have to go to that to be able to go to All-State. She probably didn't understand what she was being told because she was from Tennessee, and they do everything completely fucked up over there. So she scheduled it the same weekend as All-District, which meant we couldn't go to ETSU, which would have been the one weekend mentioned above that there wasn't anything going on.

So instead my band director decided to take us to VT Honors Band, which we'd never been to before. But it just so happens that VT Honors Band was the same weekend as JMU's Brass Bash. So I couldn't go to that.

So there's three consecutive weeks in January that I could have gone to the same number of honors bands, if only that bitch at ETSU hadn't fucked up.

But I still would have gone to two, and VT was going to be a whole three days, which kind of makes up for the lack of one of those.

But no! Fate didn't have it planned that way. She planned a big fucking snowstorm to come whipping through the entire country and cause me to not only miss enough school to take a zero on my computer hell final because of the make-up work I had to do in my AP classes, but to also cancel every fucking honors band this month, including All-District.

And there's a whole sub-story behind this one, too, which is the reason I went to school yesterday dressed in a good sweater and with my hair mussed up and caused people to laugh at me because of how I looked, which has been a kind of frequent thing of late, but it seemed different this time. I also wouldn't have been surprised if steam was billowing out of my ears. I was fucking mad. Not just mad but fucking mad. You see, this past week we got some rain. But we didn't get the same part of the big "rain event" that the rest of the southeast got, including the county in which district was supposed to take place. And, of course, they're a higher elevation, so they had to get ice on the roads and cancel the whole event.

This all happened on Thursday (district was Friday), and everyone else in the county was notified but me. I bet my band director tried to call me, but gave up because during the whole hour from six to seven, dad was on the internet. Then Nathaniel. Then me. And the latest I was on was about nine-thirty. Of course, my band director is an old man, and he goes to bed at nine, so I bet he gave up at nine. Nine-twenty at the latest. But he could have at least told someone to e-mail me and save me the trouble of getting up at five in the morning and being bitched at for an half hour.

I was pretty fuckin' mad. If I had seen that guy from Grayson County any time during that day, I would have squeezed his neck until his Beaker head popped off. Seriously, this guy looks just like the Beaker character from The Muppets Show.

I have this image in my head of all the people in charge of these honors bands getting together for a pow-wow and saying, "Just as a cruel joke, let's cancel all the honors bands this month. The look on their faces, especially the seniors!" and just laughing maniacally.

The bastards.

posted at 23:31 ||

Powered by Blogger